Chicago Is So Gay Monday Morning Check-In Post

Happy Pride Month! How are YOU??!!

Magnolia Street in Andersonville

The rainbow flags everywhere were among the first things I noticed when landing back here on May 10th. Chicago had its “gay neighborhoods” when we left, Lakeview (aka Boystown) and Andersonville where the feminist bookstore, “Women and Children First” still sits on Clark Street with this painted in the windows “Opened in 1979. Open Today. Open Forever.”

In the mid to late 80s, while in college living off of Halstead Street in Lakeview when pride weekend rolled around (back then it was just a weekend), I knew I’d not be moving my car at all, and if I needed to use it I’d park a few blocks away well ahead of the festivities. Halstead and Broadway would shut down in an explosion of color and joy as the celebration of being oneself, exactly as you were, took over the area.

“Everyone is gay on Gay Day!” my partner would say when she and I were together in the mid to late 90s. I was in the parade one year, her ex worked for the ACLU and we marched with them.

“Pride is the one day you can drink on the street and the cops don’t care,” my friend Thomas said the year before we were in the parade as we left his apartment after the brunch he’d hosted pulling a red wagon loaded with ice and booze behind him. He was right, the police waved and smiled at us as we passed them with drinks in hand and a full bar behind us. While I no longer enjoy alcohol the memory of that still makes me laugh.

Thirty years later, Chicago is gay everywhere you go. The rainbow flags and signs in support of all progressive values greet me as I travel these streets, no longer segregated into those two neighborhoods (it never really was, it was just much quieter back then as there were always gay bars all across the city). It is a relief to be in a place where this freedom of expression and public claiming of one’s identity is seen as the norm, so much so that most do not care what anyone else thinks about their sexual or gender identity.

When I discovered I was bi/pan thirty years ago, it was a very different landscape. Since I am not one to keep anything about myself to myself, I came roaring out within a matter of a few days. Though there was certainly some confusion among those around me at my claiming of my orientation at the late age of 27, acceptance came rather quickly except for my mother. It took her a solid couple of years to calm down and even then I don’t think she ever accepted this new me. Her relief when I partnered with Jon was palpable.

On Friday evening Jon and I wandered around the lively and fun Andersonville neighborhood, went to the Brown Elephant thrift store, listened to an impromptu concert spilling out of a record store on Clark Street, got some free samples of some chocolate chip cookies at Theo which is located next to Defloured and across the street from A Taste of Heaven (clearly some delicious bakery faeries set up a portal there) and ended up a block east at First Slice Pie Cafe for dinner. With multiple locations across the city, they use their profits from a subscription-based meal program to feed the unhoused and at-risk LGBT youth in conjunction with numerous organizations. And of course, there is pie.

Jon and I first became acquainted with their pie because Theresa dropped some off at our door earlier in the week. She’s already won the Caretaker of the Year award. I have raised the white flag in surrender, allowing myself to be outcaretaken (thank you).

Zoey, Sookie, and Teddy enjoy all the extra space this home affords us and spend their time alternating between lounging on the couches, beds, rugs, and dog beds, running the 60+ feet length of the apartment with their toys, and finding new parks to explore. I was certain there must be an unofficial off-leash area for dogs in some of the parks. We stumbled into one the other day.

“As long as the dogs are happy, we’ll be happy,” was my mantra once we received notice that we needed to leave our California home. The doggies are very, very happy, and so are we. Teddy has taken to letting out long contented sighs and purrs multiple times a day, vocalizing in a way he never has before. Zoey and Sookie are thrilled with all of the additional human attention from Theresa and Vasken, the third-floor residents in the building who are also family, and the many people we’ve met on our walks.

Every time we head to a park we run into a group of beings or an individual who needs to interact with our pack. At Indian Boundary Park, the groups are typically comprised of developmentally disabled adults and Sookie and Zoey know exactly how much love to give them without overwhelming them. Teddy usually hangs back as he is still nervous around someone new to him.

One afternoon a young woman with a tracheostomy and a bandage on her foot could see that Sookie was a hugger. Sookie could see that she was physically not at 100% and held herself back from her regular exuberance. The woman kept patting her chest, nodding emphatically, and managed to get out a, “I want a hug from her,” in a raspy whisper.

I had already asked Sookie not to jump up on her, so no matter how much the woman patted herself, Sookie would only rub up against her knees. The woman slowly took herself into a crouching position. Sookie looked at me and I said, “Give her a hug, Sooks,” which she very gently did along with a quick kiss on her cheek. She glowed as she stood up again whispering, “I got one.”

At the park the other day we kept running into a woman and a younger man. He finally said, “Can I say hi to your dogs?”

“Of course!” I replied.

Sookie and Zoey ran up to him and Teddy stayed back, barking a bit.

“Just ignore, Teddy. He has some anxiety with new people, but he’s not aggressive in any way.”

“I have social anxiety!” he exclaimed, “but not with dogs. Dogs are always good with me.”

And on it goes.

Today is my first day with clients in a month and a half. In twenty-six years of doing this work, this is the longest chunk of time I have taken away from it. I am refreshed and excited to tune in and share the support and love.

How are You?? Please leave me a comment below and let me know.

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