Finding my Rhythm

I moved all of my content here on a whim about two weeks ago with no forethought or plan. Jon and I were just about to leave the house to head out to dinner and I thought that would be an excellent time to export everything from Medium and import it here (sarcasm detected). Usually, I am the one rushing him out of the door, so I am not really sure how this happened. Reverse shoe foot thing. It was kind of fun to hear his foot tapping.

I mean, I had been thinking about making this move for a couple of months now. So this was not completely unexpected. This is often how I find myself doing new and or big things (and sometimes even small and regular things). I think about it and procrastinate and/or try to push it and get nothing done until the moment when I find I am suddenly just doing it, having built up the confidence/energy/desire along the way. I’ll talk about my writer’s block in another article.

It was much easier and smoother than I thought it would be, moving my content over that is. I read some instructions, hit a button or two, got an email, hit another button, and my Substack site filled with all of my content in a matter of minutes (under 5).

I am still setting things up here and am finding my particular learning style (a mashup of reading/writing and kinesthetic) means this is still a work in progress. I’ll take the next couple of weeks to clean everything up and make it all sparkle. I am now finding some errors and glitches and still need to add my voice to some of the standard language.

I have divided my content into three sections and you’ll see these links at the top.
“Articles” “Transcribed Excerpts” and “Short Stories”. If you have not yet wandered through my archives, I have been writing and publishing for years now in a very less-than-organized manner.

I’d been debating on what to do about the paywall when it hit me that I can leave the payment option up to you. For now, everything will be accessible to all of you whether you choose a paid subscription or a free subscription. I used to offer my sessions on a sliding scale and this feels similar. It’s a collaborative way of offering my work to the world. If you can afford to throw me some dollars, thank you. If you can not, others will, and this will give you access to what I am putting out there.

Which brings me to money. It’s a hard one for me, it always has been. I have a difficult time asking to be paid. When I was younger, I constantly allowed myself to be underpaid and devalued in my work environments, watching many of my contemporaries get paid more than I was, go on vacations, live in much nicer surroundings, and drive dependable vehicles as I scrimped and struggled and then conversely would throw my money away impulsively on fluff, my foundation never secure.

It’s an outgrowth of being abandoned by both of my parents at a young age, and it’s something I am still healing. The lack of support and the need to develop support in my own body is a lifelong journey.

I used to believe I chose those circumstances (my childhood ones) to make me a better healer/guide and to facilitate the deepening of my compassion (this is a topic for an upcoming piece).

Currently, I recognize that I am not who I am because of what I experienced. I am who I am despite it (or perhaps it’s a combination of both). Often I wonder how much farther I could have gone had I had the support I needed.

Perhaps you can relate.

Thank you again for being here and subscribing whether your subscription is paid or free. I so love connecting with you in this way.