Somehow, I Am a Writer

Mechelen, Belgium

I sit here, my new laptop in front of me, (“I want one!” Jon said after typing on mine for a bit. Arrgh! I have been trying to get him to downsize to a laptop for years.) I mean, who am I to talk, I have hemmed and hawed and hesitated and pawed at the ground forever it seems when it comes to the buying of and using one.

Finally.

He’ll probably not be far behind even though he just built himself a fantastic desktop PC. Yeah, I said built. He also built the one I have been typing on for over ten years now. It will not be coming to Chicago. It’s headed to the recycling bin.

I also finally committed to a cloud account a few months ago. I had some resistance to this, not unusual when it comes to doing something that will make my life easier. So setting this laptop up was the smoothest computer adventure I have ever taken, even in a Mercury Retrograde, even with the shipping misinfo, even with the unnecessary worrying. Still. Everything that was on my PC appeared like magic on my new laptop and it’s starting to feel like technology may be making my life more seamless right now.

“Turn video off,” Jon commanded my new laptop earlier while playing with it.

Yeah, that’s not happening yet, although it probably could if I would set the voice prompt thingy up. I gotta say, Siri on my iPhone has been getting more intelligent these days. Did no one watch the most recent iteration of “Battlestar Galactica”? It still makes me more than a little worried while also fascinated at the same time.

This is one aspect of Pluto sitting in Aquarius, rapid development in technology. We Aquarians, we love our tech (see Jon learning how to and then building us computers).

It’s such a funny contrast, the obsession with the mystical, the love of humanity, and the love of tech, especially new tech. I guess it makes sense, as it’s all intelligence no matter what dimension it harkens from.

It’s 7:18pm on Monday as I am writing this after a full day of clients, setting up this new wonder of a device, eating dinner, and hanging out with the doggies with moving activities interspersed throughout. It’s my slacking on the couch with a good program time, and yet, I am inspired to write, breaking my own curse, you know the one, “I am afraid that once I get the laptop I’ll just stop writing, and it’ll sit there mocking me”

And I am, on the couch, writing. I am going to take this beauty down to the Farmer and the Cook this week after all and finally bring that vision to fruition.

Look out, Chicago coffee shops and cafes! I’m acoming.

I am, I have discovered, a writer. Rather, I am just letting myself become that which I always was. The sun is setting right now and it’s getting dimmer in my space. Typing “I am a writer” was just the moment when I remembered that the keyboard on this laptop has a nifty backlight feature.

I am now all lit up, no longer waiting for anyone else to tell me who I am or what I can do. I used to think to be a writer I would need someone else to come along and bestow that title upon me. I’ve taken longer than you’d think I would with this one to claim it as my own.

Eleven years ago or so I took a trip to Belgium alone. I had a weekend event with a group of lovely humans and their etheric helpers. On my last day there, I had some time to myself and walked to the small town of Mechelen a mile or so away. As I looked at the buildings I had a memory of living there long ago as a man who was a published writer. As I dove into the memory a bit more deeply I was hit with a wave of intense loneliness.

It’s the loneliness I feared that kept me from writing in this life, and I knew that healing some of the echoes from that life was needed to proceed.

As I hit publish on my first City Council piece this summer, almost ten years later, I remember feeling afraid that this would somehow cause us to lose our housing. I could not shake the feeling as much as I told myself there was no logic to it.

Clearly, I was on to something. While no direct line can be drawn, the valley is pushing us out. There is a fight happening here as it’s happening everywhere for this reality. Where will the power go? Will it stay in the hands of the wealthy few? Or will it go to the masses?

And finally, I have discovered that as I write, I am more connected, more in community, more a part of this world than I ever have been before.

I finished up our last transmission from Ojai a few hours ago. The recording is now available on my site here.

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