"'Sorry' Seems to be the Hardest Word"

“………………It’s sad, so sad. It’s a sad, sad situation, and it’s getting more and more absurd,” Elton John sings and we all weep as memories flood in about relationships long over or perhaps recently over, as the case may be.

The song as written is about a romantic relationship breaking apart, and yet, the story of the song can be applied to any kind of relationship or situation. I’m listening to it right now on Lughnasadh Eve during this Venus Retrograde thinking about our relationship with Earth and all other forms of life incarnate on this world other than human and yeah, “…………………It’s getting more and more absurd.”

What is it with apologizing and accountability? I have not known many people who easily apologize when warranted, and I include myself in this bunch. I’m better at it than I used to be, but still, I find when I know I am over the line, out of bounds, just plain old in the wrong that sometimes accessing the vulnerability needed to be accountable and then to say, simply, “I am sorry”, can be something I am terrified to do.

It’s the vulnerability piece, of this I am sure. As one who had to shore up my defenses and put on my armor at a young age, taking it off to admit I am wrong feels like I then will be attacked or even like I may die (I know, this sounds dramatic, but look at the very real issue we have with lack of accountability and the inability to apologize, and this goes way beyond ego to survival, or perhaps to a very foundational essence of our species’ survival itself).

The more mature I get, the more healing I do, the less these primal issues get activated and the easier it is for me to just own it and apologize, whatever it is, even if my intention was not in any way to do harm. If another has felt harm due to my words or actions, then an apology is warranted. In reality, it takes nothing from me and gives so much to the injured party.

I used to think it was about “right” or “wrong”. My head is no longer in that space. It’s about love and respecting another’s boundaries. It’s about humility. It’s about the belief that we are all One, none higher nor lower than another. It’s at the very center of being as conscious of a co-creator as I can be.

There is huge magic in the making of amends that facilitates healing, the opening up of new opportunities, and even makes a timeline jump more likely, especially if the amends is followed up with changed behavior (not perfect, but changed). It’s this piece, the apology in action that creates the bigger miracles. It’s a version of “know better do better”.

And in doing better, we all become better.