The Councilwoman Wore Black

Ojai City Council Series Part IV

I did not go to last week’s city council meeting. There was one item on the agenda and that item was pickleball.

Yep

Pickleball

The fastest-growing fad sport fad in America (I am taking bets here on how long it will be before surfaces of the pickleball courts springing up all over white privileged America begin to crack and grow weeds from misuse.)

It brings to mind the racquetball craze of the ‘80s (Let’s get physical, physical. I want to get physical……………………..).

So, hanging out listening to an entire meeting dedicated to the needs of the pickleball crowd and the noise complaints from those living near the recently installed courts (although this piece is meaningful) in a town of 8000 people that does not even have a public swimming pool (or enough housing for anyone making less than $100,000++++ annually along with a growing tent community for the unhoused on the city council land), well, I was not going to that one.

Our city council meetings happen on the second and fourth Tuesday of each month. So, I figured the issue with Name Redacted (if you’ve missed my city council series, you can start here) would have to wait until August 22nd. Friday evening I got a heads up that the city council had scheduled a special meeting for August 15th with one item on the agenda.

“That the city council consider the proposal by Mayor Stix to remove Name Redacted from his at-will position as a member of the Planning Commission.”

Again? We’re going to do this all again? Venus in retrograde is now having her way with the town of Ojai where Name Redacted and misogyny are concerned it seems.

I did not go in with a prewritten statement this time just with some bullet points, specific examples of misogynistic things Name Redacted had said or done over the past couple of years, the period of time I had been observing him and his behavior, the consequences of which have seeped into the woodwork of our community and caused a rift so big that the energy in city hall is pretty contentious all around, and the communication at times between council members can be downright snarky and mean.

Since this was a single-item agenda meeting, I was hopeful we’d be out of there in two hours, it was closer to three. Jon and I pulled into the parking lot right as Mayor Stix with her partner John, Councilman Whitman, and Councilwoman Lang all did as well. I noticed Lang was all in black, interesting. She sits next The Councilwoman R who has been wearing mostly white, so I wondered if this was a coincidence or if it was something else. It seemed to bode well for the night ahead that we all arrived simultaneously, and we greeted each with hugs and gratitude for their service to the community. The mayor and the councilmembers went into the room behind the dais, and Jon, John, and I took seats together in the second to last row right behind a row of people we knew to be there in support of Name Redacted. Mayor Stixs’s John sat between me and my Jon, which was a good thing, as Jon and I sometimes turn into 3rd graders when sitting next to one another in an environment where we are expected to behave.

The meeting opened pleasantly enough with the one agenda item expressed and a call for decency and decorum. Mayor Stix does not hesitate to use her gavel to quiet the crowd when we do not behave (damn, I think the Chief of Police, Trina Newman, in attendance, had to come back towards me at some point when I could not keep my mouth shut and yelled at someone who was sitting a couple of rows in front of me). I truly do not know how Mayor Stix does it. In every single meeting people in the community get up there and shout ridiculous conspiracy theories at her and about her into the mic. She keeps a neutral expression and thanks them each and every time without interruption. She is a master class in holding one’s vibration.

Then the circus started. The interim city manager read a short report, which included the fact that Name Redacted was an at-will volunteer (meaning he could be let go for any reason or no reason at all, with the exception of illegal ones, ie: discrimination and the like), and then the Mayor called for questions, meaning this is the time for city council members to ask questions of the city manager and the city lawyer, both who are present at each meeting, along with a sheriff’s officer (oops) and a couple of other staff members.

The Councilwoman F and The Councilwoman R asked questions that were presented more as their opinions on Name Redacted and/or the situation at hand with a slight inflection at the ends of their long-winded speeches. Mayor Stix had to remind them more than once that they were not in the discussion portion of the night, but in the portion where they should only be asking questions of the manager or lawyer. Councilman Whitman asked a couple of questions, including one that made sure that everything that had been said at the July 11th meeting about Name Redacted and his removal would be included in the record. It would. As usual, when challenged by the mayor to adhere to Robert’s Rules, The Councilwomen F & R both used a sharp tone with her in response. It’s gross, from where I sit.

Then the public comments began.

Ugh. Can I just say it again? Ugh.

This is the third time now that I have chosen to sit through and participate in this conversation, and it’s not gotten any clearer or really any different. Everyone there seemed either tired or more frustrated and angry, especially those there in support of Name Redacted who was there along with his wife.

The process for public comment is that the Mayor will call the next speaker up along with the two or three that will follow behind. The first few were mostly in support of keeping Name Redacted on the planning commission, and I knew they would be when I heard their names called. This is a very small town, and by now I pretty much know where everyone in the chamber sits with their views on this issue along with those who hate the Mayor (it’s not too strong of a word, their behavior is hateful).

Somehow it just turned out that most in favor of keeping him on spoke earlier and most of us opposed spoke later on. I got a little tired of hearing the platitudes spoken in favor of, along with the denials of his misogyny and grievances, and stepped out to grab some water in the little kitchen that runs alongside the gallery. There is an entrance to the kitchen at the back of the room and then it runs in galley fashion to another opening at the anteroom to the meeting room with the council members’ chambers area behind where they are seated on the dais.

I stepped outside for a moment and got a bit of warm air and then headed back through the kitchen and to my seat in the gallery. A couple more names were called and then I heard it, “Next we have so and so, and so and so, and Nora Herold”. I scooted back through the kitchen, grabbed a little more water, and then settled myself against the wall in the anteroom. The lectern for the public speakers and presenters is right through the door from the anteroom and faces the council members’ dais while the gallery is directly behind. It’s a bit weird to be speaking facing the council with the eyes of the community upon your back.

I leaned against the wall of the anteroom and listened to Hannah speak. Hannah, a 25-year-old being brave enough to face the council in front of her with the community behind her, said this:

I want to start by saying that I am a gender studies major and I am here to comment on the language that is being used. I am not well versed in the situation pertaining to Name Redacted and I am not here to say whether or not he should stay or be removed, but I can speak on his language as it pertains to our society’s view on men and women. The language used to describe women has become normalized in our society today, so normalized that it’s almost never called into question because it’s not seen as vulgar or offensive, it’s seen as expected or natural. It’s a reflection on how we view men and women, as separate beings, greater than and less than. This hierarchy is defended as human nature. So when this language gets used it becomes a dog whistle in that the only ones who can hear it are the ones that are affected by it, the ones that hear the constant message that we are less than. Because we know the hierarchy is not human nature but a construct made to uphold power. We need to keep calling this language out and keep these conversations going in order to change the narrative of what is seen as normal and ‘natural’ in our society today.
Thank you so much

Holy shit! This bright light got my attention, and I got closer to the door as she was speaking. As soon as she finished and then started to step away, The Councilwoman R did to her what she did to me during my first appearance and started to lecture her on (something, I did not even listen to her words at this point, it was her tone). I stepped into the room and stood right next to Hannah, right at the lectern, and looked directly at The Councilwoman R in an attempt to get her to stop her abusive behavior.

She did not stop. I put my hand on Hannah’s back to let her know she was not alone, this brave being aligned with a younger body being lectured at by a sitting councilwoman on the dais, one much older in years than she. Hannah looked at me and smiled as Mayor Stix banged her gavel and instructed The Councilwoman R that what she was doing (in my viewpoint it was bullying) was not appropriate. She asked Hannah if she was finished and let her know that if she was she did not need to keep standing there and could take her seat.

I put my arm around her and said, “Are you done?”

She nodded at me, and I said, “Let’s go”.

I turned her body towards the gallery and walked her back to her seat with my arm around her. I did not hear what was being said by the council members behind me at the time as I was just focused on Hannah and making sure she was okay. I got her to her chair, at this point she was visibly in tears as she sat down next to her mother, and then again made my way through the kitchen and back to the anteroom with my notes in hand. Now my fire was lit. I’ve said it before, I am quicker to run to the defense of another than I am to myself, but once that energy is running in me, I’ll use it in whatever way best serves.

The woman who was speaking right before I was in support of Name Redacted and by the end of her statement was in tears about the division in our community, a division she blames upon our mayor. I was next.

As soon as my name was called, The Councilwoman R stood up and began to leave the room. I stepped up to the lectern, leaned into the mic, and said, “Bye,” and waved at her.

She must have misheard me because she turned and said, “Hey, Nora, how’s it going?”

“Good, how are you?” I replied, smiling

“Good, and I am not casting spells on you, by the way,” and then she disappeared into the chamber behind the dais.

“Oh, I appreciate that. Thank you!” I responded to her brightly.

“Hi, everyone,” I said as I turned to face the council and then began to laugh uproariously about what had just transpired. “Right?” as some began to laugh along with me. “I mean, what the F?” I did say “F” and not what I normally would have said due to the environment I was in. I even caught Excouncilman W laughing behind me as I watched the replay.

At least I would not be subject to her magic mirror. I so wanted to walk in there with a full-length mirror. I also did wear a white shawl, intentionally. I mean, I had to have a little bit of fun with this.

“Here we are. Okay, this started, from my perspective, by a horrible, horrible campaign run against Mayor Stix,” I then turned as I heard some dissenting remarks behind me from the gallery and shot a STFU look in their general direction and then continued loudly into the mic, “AND ACTIONS HAVE CONSEQUENCES”.

“Name Redacted used misogyny to try to unseat Mayor Stix and to try to put a slate of candidates that he preferred in office. He LOST. You lost, Name Redacted. You lost this one. To then come in and threaten to sue the city is indicative of why he should go. He is not a healing force. He is a divisive force. He cares, from my perspective, this is my viewpoint, about him and the power he can grab. That’s it.”

”I have examples here of misogynistic statements I heard him make, and let me say this, any misogynist will say, ‘I am not a misogynist’. Here’s the thing, I’ve said misogynistic statements throughout my life. We all have. We’ve all said probably racist things, we’ve said homophobic things.”

“But this misogyny was used for political purposes. This is politics and there is a consequence.”

I then enumerated specific examples of how I observed his misogyny at work.

1. He ran an attack ad, as the president of our Ojai Valley Democrat Club, in our newspaper against Mayor Stix when The Celebrity was running against her last year. The attack campaign read “She Just Said No”. He co-opted language created by female sexual assault survivors and used it to denigrate our female mayor. (I was yelling as I made this point). “This is misogynistic!”

2. He supported public shaming of her, including the use of signs with the words “Shame on Betsy” and “Shame” on them, and enlisted high school students to wave them. (This may have been actually done by The Celebrity, but Name Redacted was acting in full support of The Celebrity at that time). “Misogyny!”

3. He continually referred to her as “Betsy” as opposed to her appropriate title, “Mayor Stix”. “Betsy! Betsy! Betsy!” I yelled into the mic. “More misogyny!”

4. And then there was the now infamous email with the line “weak, young, female candidates”. I also referenced the ageism (it’s actually called “adultism” when it’s younger people being discriminated against by those who are older). “We want our young people involved in politics, we need them. We need you,” and I looked at Councilwoman Lang. “I don’t know how old you are, Rachel”. Councilwoman Lang responded to me laughing and said, “Hey, I am not even that young!” and we laughed together along with other voices in the room.

I was about to get to this nugget when the timer went off, and I had to stop.

On July 19th The Celebrity posted this to his Facebook page. A week or so later he posted it to his “The Celebrity for Mayor” Facebook page and the Ojai Valley Democrat Club shared it on their Facebook page on July 27th

“The Current Mayor and majority city council, 3 out of 5, are a weak, bullying, corrupt, ineffective, destructive cabal that’s slowly destroying the community…..a total nightmare to campaign against………………………” - here he is speaking about Mayor Stix, Councilman Whitman, and Councilwoman Lang.

His use of qanon-ish language is more than disturbing to me as is the trumpian technique of accusing others of the things he, himself is actually doing. The Celebrity and Name Redacted as a team was bad for Ojai and will be bad for Ojai again if The Celebrity challenges Mayor Stix once more.

I met The Celebrity when he was running last summer. I was curious about what he would have to say and he was campaigning during our Sunday Farmers’ Market. I said, “Nice to meet you. Please tell me why I should support you.”

He proceeded to trash the mayor and the entirety of the city council at the time without offering me a single positive statement or vision for what his intentions as mayor would be. That was all I needed to know, and yet, soon after, I saw something else even more telling. During Ojai Day, our annual festival in mid-October, all of the candidates were there campaigning. Mayor Stix had her own booth on the grass, I stepped in, reintroduced myself, and wished her good luck. Rachel Lang (not yet a councilwoman) was sharing a booth in the grass with a couple of other candidates. This was the first time we were meeting in person and I liked her immediately.

And then there was The Celebrity. He did not have his own booth. He was campaigning out on the walkway, in front of the Ojai Valley Democrat Club’s booth, and was completely blocking the path for any of us who were trying to get through as he gathered a crowd. I had to step into someone else’s booth to go around him.

A more clear metaphor I could not think of. There are those who serve and understand that as beings who serve their position is to support the community, and then there are those who are in it to grab more power for themselves, obstructing the growth and health of the community.

When the O.V.D.C. shared this trash from him on their Facebook page I was both shocked and unsurprised (can you really be both? I think we have all discovered at this point that yes, you can). I don’t know if Name Redacted is the exact person who shared it or not, but he is president of the club and fostered the environment that made it seem like this was appropriate, and as president, the buck stops with him. At 4:00am the next morning (I heard, so this is now hearsay) The Councilwoman F made a comment there asking them to edit out the abusive language. The post then disappeared and The Celebrity has since edited the post on his own page and removed the worst language. It’s too late, however, we all saw it, and I am including it here in part for anyone in the community who may have not been aware of how disruptive and vile The Celebrity can be.

So the chimes went off letting me know my time was up and Mayor Stix was insistent that I stop talking. I stepped away and took my seat as the next person took the mic to speak. Jon’s metaphor was that I was like a chainsaw mowing down all of the false arguments in support of Name Redacted and the denials of his misogyny. Jon’s been doing an awards ceremony since we got home for “Best Public Speaker at a Small Town City Council Meeting”, ah yes, this is how we amuse one another. He’s been doing fake awards ceremonies since we met. It’s a tried and true bit and one he has not pulled out of his back pocket in some time.

I felt unfinished as I sat down and a bit frustrated, and then, as I listened to the comments of all of the speakers who came after me and reflected on the ones who came before, every single thing I felt I had left out of my allotted 3 minutes I heard come out of their mouths along with many other salient details I had not thought to bring up. It was truly a collaborative effort, each one of us bringing to the table our own voice and concerns each building upon those who had come before and then leaving the door open for those who would follow.

At some point, Name Redacted spoke and he was granted an extra 3 minutes. His defense of himself was a bit all over the place and his final words were to threaten to sue the city of Ojai if he was removed.

Public comment ended and now it was time for the council to discuss, make motions, and vote. I won’t drag you through all of it, here is a brief summary.

The Councilwoman R - “Name Redacted is great, a plug for her views on rent stabilization (which had nothing to do with the matter at hand. This had come up a few months ago for a vote and she voted “no”). Earlier in the night her focus had been on the potential financial cost to the city if Name Redacted sued.

Councilwoman Lang - Again in the uncomfortable and yet powerful position of being the deciding vote - “I think it is unfortunate that we are here…….so much of justice is how we do things…….I am deeply disappointed at the lack of communication (my aside: Mayor Stix reached out to Name Redacted twice and he declined to sit down and speak with her alone)…………………….as I have been thinking about how I would vote (she referenced a conversation she had with a former city council member who advised ‘listen to the people’) this evening, that is what I did……………….the people of Ojai, the people have spoken, and they have spoken for his removal.” and then she started crying, demonstrating for all how absolutely horrible this has all been, all of it, not just the past few meetings but the entirety of it going all the way back to last summer.

Councilman Whitman - In support of removal and comments about how divided we all are at this time across the nation and how unfortunate this all is along with some fact-checking regarding process issues, including the fact that instead of contacting the council when his name first came up for removal, Name Redacted chose to contact the paper (a paper which is biased against our Mayor and funded by the CEO of Fox Sports). He also fact-checked the truth that everyone on the council is in favor of affordable housing. Then he made a motion.

CW Motion - We remove Name Redacted from the planning commission and any and all assignments to any city of Ojai committee or subcommittee.

Mayor Stix seconded and started to call for a vote when she was interrupted by The Councilwoman F.

The Councilwoman F - “Please read the 7-page letter from Name Redacted refuting all statements made against him.” Why didn’t Mayor Stix meet with him? He should remain. The threat of lawsuits and the potential bankruptcy of the city. “I do my best to listen to everyone here respectfully (she fumbled that word)………..I am ready to make my substitute motion.”

The Mayor asked the lawyer for clarification about the rules of a substitute motion. He made the clarification that once seconded, a substitute motion stands in front of the original motion (in this case, Councilman Whitman’s motion to remove).

CF Motion - To take no further action and that Name Redacted is allowed to remain seated subject to the same term expiration that he has had since appointed, May 22, 2026.

The Councilwoman R seconded.

Before voting it was Mayor Stix’s turn to weigh in. She thanked everyone for participating, “Some of you three times, potentially” and expressed gratitude to all commissioners and volunteers as had every other council member, and expressed gratitude to Name Redacted for “passionately pursuing his beliefs”. She clarified that this was not personal for her, and again expressed gratitude. “That said, I think as a council we need to, as Councilmember Whitman said, do what’s best for Ojai, and I know that all of us feel that same way. So that’s why we are here, and yes the people have spoken. I agree with Councilmember Lang. In the July 11th meeting it was about three to one in favor of removing Name Redacted. Today, in terms of the letters, it was twenty-five to fifteen.”

There was a bit of back and forth, and she clarified that was the tally as of 5:00pm.

She continued, “……….We are here to make the best policy decisions for our city,” and expressed that she was in favor of removal.

The Councilwoman F got a little feisty then about how the Mayor had wasted time with this special meeting, and the Mayor then pointed out to The Councilwoman F that it was due to her insistence and motion at the last meeting to start all over that we all had found ourselves here again.

Then this from The Councilwoman R, “I just want to say to Rachel (Councilwoman Lang).

“Uh oh,” I thought, “here we f’ing go” It’s not uncommon for her to speak directly to and try to sway Councilwoman Lang when they are not on the same page. Her message to her was that she can use whatever method she wanted to use to vote and yet, tallying up statements for and against removal based on the public was somehow dangerous, and that she always had the option to abstain from voting if she was really could not make a decision.

The Mayor threw the discussion back to Councilwoman Lang for a reply to The Councilwoman R.

She graciously thanked her for her words and then said, “The people who stood up here tonight and who wrote in, that takes a lot of courage, and you heard some of them say that they were afraid of potential retaliation. Yes, there is a lot of passion. I am not going to judge how they came to the decision that they needed to come to, but they did. And honestly, the voice of our community, of the individuals in our community, is the most important thing to me. Because, we are a government by the people and for the people, and those people elect us. And they trust us, sometimes probably more than others. So, I just want to thank everyone who sent in their public comments. I want to thank everyone who showed up to talk not just this time but last time and the time before………………..I just want to hold all of those people and all of those voices and say, ‘Your voice counts. You matter……….I’m listening”

”……………..when I have to choose between something I don’t want to say ‘yes’ to and something I do not want to say ‘yes’ to, I’d love to find a middle ground, when I do that I go to logic………………….And so the most logical thing that I can do right now in good faith, coming from my own integrity, is to listen to what I heard the people of our community say………”

The vote on the substitute motion was called, To take no further action and that Name Redacted is allowed to remain seated subject to the same term expiration that he has had since appointed, May 22, 2026. It failed, two for and three against.

The vote on Councilman Whitman’s original motion was called, We remove Name Redacted from the planning commission and any and all assignments to any city of Ojai committee or subcommittee. It passed with the necessary three votes.

Finally.

We exited the building with the same exact group we had entered, back to the parking lot, and we all got into our cars and drove away leaving this long, long funeral for a pillar of the patriarchy behind us.

Holy Venus Cazimi!

Read Part V Here