Maybe I am allergic to Aquarian energy! lol because my body has not been happy. Not long after I turned a corner with my sleep and nutrition my psoriasis has flared worse than ever, with severe burning and itch that wakes me up every night to fetch an ice pack that is the only thing to bring some relief. It’s been a torturous few weeks. I’ve been praying a lot, for help and relief. It’s pushed me to the bottom of my emotional barrel, but in this moment I am okay. I will try to apply your wisdom here as well - that I can’t control what is happening in my body (or even understand!) but I am getting better at responding. X
I agree on the group thing. My skin issue on my back has reared its head with itching and burning. It is finally starting to clear up but has been bad.
I understand! I hope you’re feeling better soon 💚💚💚💚! I’ve been learning difficulty how to move without engaging my lower back muscles. Bad spasms. Surrendering as best I can. Hugs
I had a wonderful weekend with my recovery friends and family and received a major healing in terms of speaking my personal truth to others and being heard and validated by them. So, I am in the afterglow and feel a lot more hopeful about my own healing journey now than I have for a while.
And then reading your piece, Nora, it occurs to me that you have experienced an energetic shift that means that you are no longer in alignment with Ojai and that maybe you have learned all you can learn there?
Yep, you got a point there. With everything shifting so fast now, no telling what's around the next corner. It's amazing to imagine that we are so ready for this now. Even after working on it for what seems like millennia, now that it's here, it's utterly amazing on the personal feeling and energetic levels.
Nora, I continue to send you love and support as you move through this housing change. The good news, thanks to the good side of modern tech you can stay in touch.
About me. I was the energizer bunny last week with projects to finish and clients to see from Monday- Saturday. I slept yesterday and had to go back to sleep when the alarm went off today. I’m attributing that to solar flare activity. I’m quite sensitive to them and know I needed to sleep to integrate all that’s going on now.
Doesn’t sound like it is the ideal time to go up to Fresno and help clear the sewing stuff of my friend who died in August, but I’ve committed and it works for her husband and another of her longtime friends where I’ll stay. I am the person best suited to sort through that aspect of her life. We met 43 years ago when she was a manager of a family owned fabric store and she hired me to teach sewing classes. I’m getting weepy writing this. However, I trust that her stoic Capricorn soul will hang out with me during this weekend drive and sorting. We were also road trip buddies.
As usual, I resonate with so much of what you are sharing!
We have been living in a predominantly white area in the PNW for the last 3 1/2 years after having lived in the culturally diverse areas for most of our lives. We are really looking forward to returning to the diversity of Southern California and all that it brings!
Our move is this week, so I am going to work really hard at, not being triggered – thank you for the heads up! Lots of love!
I am still angry. But learning to navigate it and that I can't change the circumstances of the abuse all over the place. I am not accepting it anylonger though. Bundaries are being distroyed.
I was thinking of you and thought that you need a hug from someone from outside of your every day life. And just let go and allow yourself to cry for all there is to cry.
Maybe I thought it because I need it too and I think we all need it.
Have we had that moment of allowance and recognition yet? Have we admitted how hard it has been and keep being. How profoundly abusive and violent this all thing still is. We've changed so much, but.
I hear you, that's for sure. I love your solution to end the conversation and walk away. I did a similar thing about two weeks ago when I heard the red flag language of a conspiracy believer. It really affects me. What a time we are in. How dare anyone tell you where you should or shouldn't move to. I love this group that you have created. It's a place where I feel validated and sane. This last week was the 52nd anniversary of my Mother dying and would have been my brother's 60. Tears still well up. I'm okay. I am full of gratitude actually. Love to you and all.
Thank you so much, Susan. Yes, his opinions were unasked for. It's also why I walked away, and I thought of your similar experience from a couple of weeks ago right after I did it. I love you.
Ugh, I feel your pain Nora. I intimately know the beauty of the Ojai Valley and the horrible inequities here that have only increased to a suffocating level. Holding space for you in the in-between right now. It’s a lot of surrendering, isn’t it.
So far the Aquarian energies are pulling up old toxic patterns from my past to see how much work I’ve done on my boundaries and self-love. There has been a lot of saying no, catching old patterns and walking away from very hurt people masquerading as friends. I liked that you walked away from the convo at farmers. I’m also sick of the white bullshit that pervades this valley.
Ugh, what an up and down shit show the last week has been. I felt pretty good at the beginning of the week, but by Thursday, things were getting scattered. My parents (who I live with) went out of town for a long weekend and I fell into a really old, dark, sticky hole. I started watching the show Riverdale and just couldn’t stop. Skipped work on Friday and ended up staying up the whole night Saturday and well into Sunday still watching. Vacating my life. But totally disconnected from my body and anything else. These spirals feel like binge episodes and while they’re a lot less frequent, I come out of them sooner, and the shame is less than it used to be, man is there still a ton of shame and judgment. It triggers all of my stuff around being a bad human and wrong and irresponsible and scum and what’s wrong with me and disappointing others.
I’ve mostly crawled back out of the hole today, but landing back in my body and life is hard, let alone taking responsibility and coming back to the things I went MIA on and feeling all the unprocessed feelings under it all. It’s just a lot.
I really resonate with your words about not being able to control the circumstances but we can focus on our response. And saying no to things. I had to cancel on a client today - an ongoing project that we were supposed to start tomorrow and that I was excited about but I realized I just don’t have the capacity for it. I’m sad about it, but also relieved.
Thank you for sharing honestly and trusting us with your truth Nora. I’m always grateful 🙏🏼💜
I am finally just getting to sit down and read and comment on your Monday check-in. That probably tells you how I have been doing. I definitely understand the triggering going on. I absolutely love that you walked away mid sentence. I am really working on trying to respond instead of react. It can be hard when people know which buttons to push but I feel that I am doing better overall.
You know the interesting thing is I lived in Kenosha for, well for too long, but that’s a whole other story about not wanting to be in this area. But I told my husband more than once that I don’t ever see any diversity, except when I go to the grocery store and then still mostly white people there. Even this area seems to be so divided. I am not in Chicago exactly but I am very close. I was really hoping to move to an area where it was much more diverse and hopefully eventually I will make that happen.
Physically, it’s been another pretty hard time but I did see my doctor yesterday and made some progress possibly with some new medication. I guess time will tell. I know I definitely have to really focus on meditating more consistently as I know that is going to help as well. I’m also trying to figure out if some other symptoms I am having our purely physical or are more energetic symptoms.
Thanks for sharing with us and for caring about all of us.
Maybe I am allergic to Aquarian energy! lol because my body has not been happy. Not long after I turned a corner with my sleep and nutrition my psoriasis has flared worse than ever, with severe burning and itch that wakes me up every night to fetch an ice pack that is the only thing to bring some relief. It’s been a torturous few weeks. I’ve been praying a lot, for help and relief. It’s pushed me to the bottom of my emotional barrel, but in this moment I am okay. I will try to apply your wisdom here as well - that I can’t control what is happening in my body (or even understand!) but I am getting better at responding. X
I am so sorry.
I have also had a recurring physical thing flare up right now.
Wondering if this is a group thing happening.
Sending you love and wishes for ease.
Wierd old physical things flaring too. :P
Thank you for chiming in on this.
As soon as Jess mentioned it, I knew it may be a group thing.
I agree on the group thing. My skin issue on my back has reared its head with itching and burning. It is finally starting to clear up but has been bad.
Ugh. Yes, definitely whatever your thing is, is being brought up right now for a lot of us.
I understand! I hope you’re feeling better soon 💚💚💚💚! I’ve been learning difficulty how to move without engaging my lower back muscles. Bad spasms. Surrendering as best I can. Hugs
love and energetic support sent you way, Karen
I had a wonderful weekend with my recovery friends and family and received a major healing in terms of speaking my personal truth to others and being heard and validated by them. So, I am in the afterglow and feel a lot more hopeful about my own healing journey now than I have for a while.
And then reading your piece, Nora, it occurs to me that you have experienced an energetic shift that means that you are no longer in alignment with Ojai and that maybe you have learned all you can learn there?
Beautiful, Anne.
Yes, for now it seems this may be true.
Of course another shift could happen in an instant that changes everything again.
Yep, you got a point there. With everything shifting so fast now, no telling what's around the next corner. It's amazing to imagine that we are so ready for this now. Even after working on it for what seems like millennia, now that it's here, it's utterly amazing on the personal feeling and energetic levels.
Nora, I continue to send you love and support as you move through this housing change. The good news, thanks to the good side of modern tech you can stay in touch.
About me. I was the energizer bunny last week with projects to finish and clients to see from Monday- Saturday. I slept yesterday and had to go back to sleep when the alarm went off today. I’m attributing that to solar flare activity. I’m quite sensitive to them and know I needed to sleep to integrate all that’s going on now.
Doesn’t sound like it is the ideal time to go up to Fresno and help clear the sewing stuff of my friend who died in August, but I’ve committed and it works for her husband and another of her longtime friends where I’ll stay. I am the person best suited to sort through that aspect of her life. We met 43 years ago when she was a manager of a family owned fabric store and she hired me to teach sewing classes. I’m getting weepy writing this. However, I trust that her stoic Capricorn soul will hang out with me during this weekend drive and sorting. We were also road trip buddies.
As usual, I resonate with so much of what you are sharing!
We have been living in a predominantly white area in the PNW for the last 3 1/2 years after having lived in the culturally diverse areas for most of our lives. We are really looking forward to returning to the diversity of Southern California and all that it brings!
Our move is this week, so I am going to work really hard at, not being triggered – thank you for the heads up! Lots of love!
Wishing you the smoothest move and much joy in your new space, right back where you feel at home.
I am still angry. But learning to navigate it and that I can't change the circumstances of the abuse all over the place. I am not accepting it anylonger though. Bundaries are being distroyed.
I was thinking of you and thought that you need a hug from someone from outside of your every day life. And just let go and allow yourself to cry for all there is to cry.
Maybe I thought it because I need it too and I think we all need it.
Have we had that moment of allowance and recognition yet? Have we admitted how hard it has been and keep being. How profoundly abusive and violent this all thing still is. We've changed so much, but.
Big hug beautiful Nora.
Hug received and returned. I love you, Max
I hear you, that's for sure. I love your solution to end the conversation and walk away. I did a similar thing about two weeks ago when I heard the red flag language of a conspiracy believer. It really affects me. What a time we are in. How dare anyone tell you where you should or shouldn't move to. I love this group that you have created. It's a place where I feel validated and sane. This last week was the 52nd anniversary of my Mother dying and would have been my brother's 60. Tears still well up. I'm okay. I am full of gratitude actually. Love to you and all.
Thank you so much, Susan. Yes, his opinions were unasked for. It's also why I walked away, and I thought of your similar experience from a couple of weeks ago right after I did it. I love you.
Ugh, I feel your pain Nora. I intimately know the beauty of the Ojai Valley and the horrible inequities here that have only increased to a suffocating level. Holding space for you in the in-between right now. It’s a lot of surrendering, isn’t it.
So far the Aquarian energies are pulling up old toxic patterns from my past to see how much work I’ve done on my boundaries and self-love. There has been a lot of saying no, catching old patterns and walking away from very hurt people masquerading as friends. I liked that you walked away from the convo at farmers. I’m also sick of the white bullshit that pervades this valley.
I love you. Thank you as always for sharing so openly.
Ugh, what an up and down shit show the last week has been. I felt pretty good at the beginning of the week, but by Thursday, things were getting scattered. My parents (who I live with) went out of town for a long weekend and I fell into a really old, dark, sticky hole. I started watching the show Riverdale and just couldn’t stop. Skipped work on Friday and ended up staying up the whole night Saturday and well into Sunday still watching. Vacating my life. But totally disconnected from my body and anything else. These spirals feel like binge episodes and while they’re a lot less frequent, I come out of them sooner, and the shame is less than it used to be, man is there still a ton of shame and judgment. It triggers all of my stuff around being a bad human and wrong and irresponsible and scum and what’s wrong with me and disappointing others.
I’ve mostly crawled back out of the hole today, but landing back in my body and life is hard, let alone taking responsibility and coming back to the things I went MIA on and feeling all the unprocessed feelings under it all. It’s just a lot.
I really resonate with your words about not being able to control the circumstances but we can focus on our response. And saying no to things. I had to cancel on a client today - an ongoing project that we were supposed to start tomorrow and that I was excited about but I realized I just don’t have the capacity for it. I’m sad about it, but also relieved.
Thank you for sharing honestly and trusting us with your truth Nora. I’m always grateful 🙏🏼💜
Hugs and so much love sent.
Thank you for your vulnerable and honest shares. Always.
I am finally just getting to sit down and read and comment on your Monday check-in. That probably tells you how I have been doing. I definitely understand the triggering going on. I absolutely love that you walked away mid sentence. I am really working on trying to respond instead of react. It can be hard when people know which buttons to push but I feel that I am doing better overall.
You know the interesting thing is I lived in Kenosha for, well for too long, but that’s a whole other story about not wanting to be in this area. But I told my husband more than once that I don’t ever see any diversity, except when I go to the grocery store and then still mostly white people there. Even this area seems to be so divided. I am not in Chicago exactly but I am very close. I was really hoping to move to an area where it was much more diverse and hopefully eventually I will make that happen.
Physically, it’s been another pretty hard time but I did see my doctor yesterday and made some progress possibly with some new medication. I guess time will tell. I know I definitely have to really focus on meditating more consistently as I know that is going to help as well. I’m also trying to figure out if some other symptoms I am having our purely physical or are more energetic symptoms.
Thanks for sharing with us and for caring about all of us.
Love you!
Thank you for sharing.
I love you too