Oh wow Nora, it’s so cool to see how you and Jon are flowing through your journey. I appreciate the continuous listening, taking in the signs, and allowing yourself to be guided along each step of the journey. It makes the whole process feel very held and collaborative, at least looking in from over here.
It’s honestly good medicine for me as I journey in my own ways. I remember 2-3 weeks ago processing big feelings around everything falling apart. It was so strange at the time because everything in my external reality was more or less normal. Little did I know that it was preparing me.
I went to a local grassroots festival this weekend and I swear it was a fucking portal. Chris ended things between us Saturday morning. It’s wild because literally last Sunday a week ago we had one of the most connective nights together and it felt like everything had finally smoothed out. We were talking about my birthday in July and me coming to visit him in a Colorado in August. Then, all week the energy kept getting weirder and weirder between us and there was nothing I could do to change it. He ended up having a connection with someone Friday night, ended things with me Saturday morning, and then they were all over each other by Saturday night. Seeing that was fucking brutal.
Then, Sunday, my one job let me go. We’d had a rupture last week when I hadn’t shown up well for a project I’d been given. I was pissed off at the team/my higher ups about stuff and instead of using my voice and just naming it and what my boundaries actually were, I mostly ignored the project all week. Anyway, I owned it, took responsibility, knew there would be repercussions, but given our history and a lack of other issues, had no idea they’d straight up fire me. It was a total surprise. That said, I actually feel pretty neutral about it, even relieved, so I guess it’s not all bad.
Anyway, definitely feeling really raw and tender and heartachy today. Chris and I weren’t together long, but my emotions around it have been super painful. I can feel some past life intertwinings at play as well. It definitely stirs my deeper self-worth stuff too, wondering if it’s even possible for me to have a healthy relationship and if anyone will ever choose me. Oh the powerlessness.
Thank you for reading and for your care and this community. Getting to share my stuff each week and be seen has become a real support and something I look forward to each Monday. Sending you big hugs of gratitude 🙏🏼💜
Oh wow, what a rough painful week! Through it all there’s a centred-ness to you being able to articulate and reflect on it all. Sending love and support. 🫶
Well the sign I I was seeing in my mind last week was a flashing neon sign with giant red arrows pointing to MOVE. So I’ve committed to that direction, and will be moving to Bloomington IN to join forces with my oldest child at the end of July. And so another adventure begins, 🙂🚛. My finances and finding a place for us to live are still up in the air - for some time I have had the image of a little tornado spinning above my head and me waiting for the puzzle pieces to drop down and land. However now that the first one has landed, I have faith that the rest of them will begin to fall into place.
Safe and joyful journeying to you and your family.
I do not know much about Native Americans but this sentence “ I could see the physical remnants of it in the faces and bodies of the Native people” hit me home. As you know, I am from India which was colonised for hundreds of years. Amongst all the remnants of colonialism here, one of the major one is “colourism”. I am brown and people in India have varied shades of skintone. Some people here think a paler skin tone is the only beautiful skintone to have(even though most people who say this aren’t pale themselves) and any woman who does not have a whiter skintone is a burden since she will have limited proposals of marriage. I’ve heard from my relatives from childhood ask me questions like “ why your skintone is not as pale as your mom’s” with a face of pity or “you are so unlucky you did not get your mother’s colour” etc (My parents never made me feel like this but my relatives did). When I was younger, I was so desperate to make my skin look paler because I thought that is how I am gonna be loved by everyone. And then, one day I realised that the belief about skintone in my life was never mine! It was ingrained in me by others. I have the power to let go of it and I did! I love my skintone now even when people try to make me believe otherwise because I know that it is not something that they truly believe, it is passed on through generations by using shame to hate themselves during colonialism. Even after all this, my heart still skips a beat when I talk to a white person! A feeling of inferiority creeps in! And then it goes away in a few seconds. It may be because my body is recognising the pattern!
I don’t know why I am sharing this and I am very iffy about sharing this even while writing! But since last month, I feel the most secure in being my authentic self here in this comment section. It may be a start to my authentic journey and I’m grateful for you for creating this space💖
Yes, I second what Nora said. Thank you for sharing your very real experience here and letting us see, hear, and know you. I’m sorry you had to face the brunt of colourism in your life and I’m so glad you’ve found ways to move beyond it, being your true, authentic self. Your beauty shines ✨
The sign was so good I thought you would have googled that image! What a good one. And love that phrase “full on happiness”! you are doing cross country moving inspiringly well.
I didn’t have to work so hard to be in my body this past weekend, which is good to notice (have taken a little break from meditating lol). Was able to make good progress getting my house “in order” - the cleanest and most organized it’s been since moving in 5 months ago - suspect the state of my home is not dissimilar to my internal world.
I did put some effort into trying to meet new people this week, to help alleviate my social isolation, but that might have been premature as I just ended up getting the run around and not seeing anyone, so processing the disappointment of that. I’m learning more about my human design as a projector - the wisdom in that is to wait for right invitations so I think I’ll try that approach for a bit, although I feel like I’ve been waiting an awfully long time lol. My time must be coming at some point right?!
Look forward to hearing about the coming stops on your adventure! Xo 🫶
Everything sounds so wonderful! And beautiful as well. I am glad you are having such a wonderful trip as you move. I love the stop sign. Perfect! There is something magical about the Southwest to me.
We are warming up here so hopefully you won’t be dealing with cold weather once you arrive. I am enjoying seeing the sun and feeling the warmth. Headache day for me. I am curious about the energies of the month and I am hopeful things will lighten up for all.
Safe travels, and I am sending my love to you and Jon and the fur babies. 💜
Sounds very peaceful Nora. So lovely. 😊 you’re almost in Chicago, wow 🤩! I’m happy things are going smoothly. Very different than before the eclipse happened it seems.
I’m going to the neurosurgeon in the afternoon to find out his assessment and if surgery is advised. We will see 💕.
Enjoy the rest of your journey to Chicago and have a soft landing there 💕
Thank you so much for sharing, Elizabeth. I just love the ripples and meanings that happen for you all when I hit the publish button.
Thank you for your love and support as well.
The same right back to you.
So wonderful to hear how you are being nourished and met with healing love as you travel. At least it’s how I’m seeing this for you! ☺️
I wish you continuous connections of the most beautiful kind.
I wave to you as you most likely will be driving right by me!
I’m in northern Colorado off the I-25. Rocky Mountain love to you and your crew.
The spirits of the mountains watch over you as you travel.
Thank you so much, Mary. Yes, we are seeing it as you are.
I think we'll take the 40 east, so will miss your land, but we have been there before
Oh wow Nora, it’s so cool to see how you and Jon are flowing through your journey. I appreciate the continuous listening, taking in the signs, and allowing yourself to be guided along each step of the journey. It makes the whole process feel very held and collaborative, at least looking in from over here.
It’s honestly good medicine for me as I journey in my own ways. I remember 2-3 weeks ago processing big feelings around everything falling apart. It was so strange at the time because everything in my external reality was more or less normal. Little did I know that it was preparing me.
I went to a local grassroots festival this weekend and I swear it was a fucking portal. Chris ended things between us Saturday morning. It’s wild because literally last Sunday a week ago we had one of the most connective nights together and it felt like everything had finally smoothed out. We were talking about my birthday in July and me coming to visit him in a Colorado in August. Then, all week the energy kept getting weirder and weirder between us and there was nothing I could do to change it. He ended up having a connection with someone Friday night, ended things with me Saturday morning, and then they were all over each other by Saturday night. Seeing that was fucking brutal.
Then, Sunday, my one job let me go. We’d had a rupture last week when I hadn’t shown up well for a project I’d been given. I was pissed off at the team/my higher ups about stuff and instead of using my voice and just naming it and what my boundaries actually were, I mostly ignored the project all week. Anyway, I owned it, took responsibility, knew there would be repercussions, but given our history and a lack of other issues, had no idea they’d straight up fire me. It was a total surprise. That said, I actually feel pretty neutral about it, even relieved, so I guess it’s not all bad.
Anyway, definitely feeling really raw and tender and heartachy today. Chris and I weren’t together long, but my emotions around it have been super painful. I can feel some past life intertwinings at play as well. It definitely stirs my deeper self-worth stuff too, wondering if it’s even possible for me to have a healthy relationship and if anyone will ever choose me. Oh the powerlessness.
Thank you for reading and for your care and this community. Getting to share my stuff each week and be seen has become a real support and something I look forward to each Monday. Sending you big hugs of gratitude 🙏🏼💜
I'm so sorry, Helen. Sending you my love and support and hugs.
Sending love🧡! I am grateful for this community too! I do not know anyone here personally but I too feel a sense of support here.
Oh wow, what a rough painful week! Through it all there’s a centred-ness to you being able to articulate and reflect on it all. Sending love and support. 🫶
Well the sign I I was seeing in my mind last week was a flashing neon sign with giant red arrows pointing to MOVE. So I’ve committed to that direction, and will be moving to Bloomington IN to join forces with my oldest child at the end of July. And so another adventure begins, 🙂🚛. My finances and finding a place for us to live are still up in the air - for some time I have had the image of a little tornado spinning above my head and me waiting for the puzzle pieces to drop down and land. However now that the first one has landed, I have faith that the rest of them will begin to fall into place.
Safe and joyful journeying to you and your family.
Thank you and safe and joyful journeying to you as well.
Oh, I'm so glad you are liking ABQ. Of course you heavily researched some of it and yet I'm loving the surprises and sychronistic things. Xoxo
Yes! It's so wonderful here and there. We are having so much fun. Thank you and Michael again for everything.
I do not know much about Native Americans but this sentence “ I could see the physical remnants of it in the faces and bodies of the Native people” hit me home. As you know, I am from India which was colonised for hundreds of years. Amongst all the remnants of colonialism here, one of the major one is “colourism”. I am brown and people in India have varied shades of skintone. Some people here think a paler skin tone is the only beautiful skintone to have(even though most people who say this aren’t pale themselves) and any woman who does not have a whiter skintone is a burden since she will have limited proposals of marriage. I’ve heard from my relatives from childhood ask me questions like “ why your skintone is not as pale as your mom’s” with a face of pity or “you are so unlucky you did not get your mother’s colour” etc (My parents never made me feel like this but my relatives did). When I was younger, I was so desperate to make my skin look paler because I thought that is how I am gonna be loved by everyone. And then, one day I realised that the belief about skintone in my life was never mine! It was ingrained in me by others. I have the power to let go of it and I did! I love my skintone now even when people try to make me believe otherwise because I know that it is not something that they truly believe, it is passed on through generations by using shame to hate themselves during colonialism. Even after all this, my heart still skips a beat when I talk to a white person! A feeling of inferiority creeps in! And then it goes away in a few seconds. It may be because my body is recognising the pattern!
I don’t know why I am sharing this and I am very iffy about sharing this even while writing! But since last month, I feel the most secure in being my authentic self here in this comment section. It may be a start to my authentic journey and I’m grateful for you for creating this space💖
What a beautiful and honest and painful share. I am so glad you feel safe and loved here with these beautiful people ❤️❤️❤️
Yes, I second what Nora said. Thank you for sharing your very real experience here and letting us see, hear, and know you. I’m sorry you had to face the brunt of colourism in your life and I’m so glad you’ve found ways to move beyond it, being your true, authentic self. Your beauty shines ✨
Thank you for your kind words 💖
The sign was so good I thought you would have googled that image! What a good one. And love that phrase “full on happiness”! you are doing cross country moving inspiringly well.
I didn’t have to work so hard to be in my body this past weekend, which is good to notice (have taken a little break from meditating lol). Was able to make good progress getting my house “in order” - the cleanest and most organized it’s been since moving in 5 months ago - suspect the state of my home is not dissimilar to my internal world.
I did put some effort into trying to meet new people this week, to help alleviate my social isolation, but that might have been premature as I just ended up getting the run around and not seeing anyone, so processing the disappointment of that. I’m learning more about my human design as a projector - the wisdom in that is to wait for right invitations so I think I’ll try that approach for a bit, although I feel like I’ve been waiting an awfully long time lol. My time must be coming at some point right?!
Look forward to hearing about the coming stops on your adventure! Xo 🫶
Thank you so much for your heartfelt share. Sending you love in support of you finding all of the happiness you deserve.
Everything sounds so wonderful! And beautiful as well. I am glad you are having such a wonderful trip as you move. I love the stop sign. Perfect! There is something magical about the Southwest to me.
We are warming up here so hopefully you won’t be dealing with cold weather once you arrive. I am enjoying seeing the sun and feeling the warmth. Headache day for me. I am curious about the energies of the month and I am hopeful things will lighten up for all.
Safe travels, and I am sending my love to you and Jon and the fur babies. 💜
Thank you so much. Love and hugs and energetic support right back to you.
Sounds very peaceful Nora. So lovely. 😊 you’re almost in Chicago, wow 🤩! I’m happy things are going smoothly. Very different than before the eclipse happened it seems.
I’m going to the neurosurgeon in the afternoon to find out his assessment and if surgery is advised. We will see 💕.
Enjoy the rest of your journey to Chicago and have a soft landing there 💕
Thank you so much. Sending you love and wishes for an easy outcome.