I am sorry for your suffering. What they have done to you is not by any way acceptable. As I was reading I thought: "of course they knew and of course no one did anything". Those were years of silence. I also was thinking about how things seems to be similar. You thinking you deserved it and not understanding the gravity and seriousness of what was done to you, even trying to justify it, your father not caring enough to do anything. So similar in its difference.
I don't know if you can really use openly the appropriate words to describe their actions.
Nothing will ever give us back those years, make us feel wanted, supported, loved. Of course we're loved now, but we had to go out in the wild and search and find it, because it wasn't there to begin with. Yes in the wild, because when you have to run away from home at a early age, you are saving yourself, but at the same time you're not ready for it, as at the same time you have no choice.
We have become the best version of ourselves because we chose to be that version, we had it in us all the time, but we've been challenged into having the obvious choice being to destry ourselves. And let's be honest, we could have chosen to abuse the entire world into being responsible for what happened to us and become horrible replica of our parents, but we didn't, we chose to be loving, supporting, heart centered. If we did it, they could have done it too, regardless of whatever fd up reason they had to be such pieces of sh*t. The truth is: they chose to abuse us, we didn't. Kindness and love and support were available to them.
This is why we can hold space for them, reminding ourselves they are beings of love incarnated, but as incarnated humans they are just garbages excuses of whatever.
You go back to Chicago (likely) as a Queen. You've been working very hard on overcoming the abuse, you've come such long way. You can be proud of yourself. You do not go back to the place of your abuse, as it no longer exist. You go to the discovery of a new place, you go to claim your Queendom. Not that the abuse is gone and not aching anymore, but it doesn't define and control every breaths you take anymore.
You've made such difference in many way. You being you is a "miracle" in itself. So many reasons for you not to be the way you are, and still you are exactly the perfect being you are. (you would be perfect in any way you would be, but you see what I mean).
Thank you, Max. I love you so much and all of this. I am so sorry for all that you have suffered as well. The "Queen/Queendom" comments made me smile big. :)
This story breaks my heart. You are worthy of unconditional love. I’m sorry that your parents were too damaged to give you that. I love child Nora and adult Nora and I am sending that love in all directions of time!❤️🙏🏼❤️
I am sorry for your pain, Nora. I am sorry that the people who you are supposed to be your greatest source of love and support were not. What strength and courage you showed at that early age to seek out justice and help for yourself . . . And how sad & painful that help seemed so out of reach. I love that you - against all odds, kept coming back to yourself.
Let me say this: I see you -- what you share about your younger self . . . I see and believe you and as much as I am able, I hold space for that/those versions of you and send love & compassion.
I love what Max said about going back to Chicago as a Queen. I did not know you before CA, but I dare say you are . . . Well what feels most true to say is you are a more whole version of the unconditional love that is Nora. And, also, you - every version of you is perfect and perfectly lovable. I’ve used many words here and they seem inadequate - so I will end soon. Know that I am sending more and I appreciate you sharing your story.
I would also like to comment something I am discovering as I too embark upon childhood trauma healing. Now. The root.
I was born in 1959. Oldest of 8. So much abuse and now here it is and I am healing these childhood wounds because we have evolved as humans.
Not in any way as far as we need to mind you, but I too carried such guilt and shame from the adults abuse of me. I am finally releasing all fault. I was an innocent child.
And a trusting young woman. Now in a bad ass elder who has been doing the hard work of healing
change for many years.
But something is shifting for us all. Portals of healing love are opening.
We are finally awakening to what is right and what is wrong. How to help each other and what harms. People talk about abuse and when the responsibility goes to who causes the harm and they are somehow
Held responsible, the ripple effect happens. It takes a lot of work and a lot of devotion to healing. Keep going Nora! I have your back.
So good - "We are finally awakening to what is right and what is wrong. How to help each other and what harms. People talk about abuse and when the responsibility goes to who causes the harm and they are somehow
Nora. Little Nora. Big Nora. I love you. I know you know who you are... love and light incarnate. And thank you for sharing your journey. You are the guiding light for so many and because "they" we so so bad that you couldn't repeat the behavior, it was so obviously wrong, you have forged a new and loving model, thank you. Not everyone does this. I acknowledge that you have. Love love love to you.
Thank you Nora for sharing your story with us. I really think your sharing and being so open and authentic helps us all. I am so sorry you had this childhood and that no one stepped in. It is sad how in the past the resources and protections weren’t there and many times still aren’t. But often times I have conversations with my husband about the fact that Just anyone seems to be able to have children even when they are horrendous people and never should be raising a child. I also spend time thinking about how we incarnate in households that include abuse and wonder why it all happens. And it happens much more than I ever imagined. I often thought that I was one of the few that dealt with things that should not have happened, but I hear so many stories from others and it is awful that people had to experience such trauma and pain. I am sending your childhood self so much love.
Thank you for saying that you no longer believe that you had to endure the abuse to become the person and healer and teacher that you are. I know you have discussed this in the past, but I know not everyone always hears you say it. I’m glad you repeated it here. Hearing you say that the first time was turning point for me and it is such an important message.
Nora, thank you for writing about the abuse you suffered, and I'm so sorry you went through the gaslighting and physical abuse and all the rest. I know so many women who were horribly abused for years when they were growing up. I bought a prize parakeet bred by someone from my high school. I found out from her she was being ritualistically abused. This was 1976. I mentioned the situation to my math teacher not using her name, and he flat out said, I don't believe that happens. Another friend had a step father who I know made her keep her br door open, I don't know what else happened to her.
I have a similiar experience of taking myself to therapy after a hundred pick up and hang up the phone mode. I did make my mom take me somehow. The therapist was showing signs of exasperation with my mom. My fault right, I didn't tell anyone at HS until a senior and about to be done, and the social worker told me to call a therapist. I guess I waited too long to get her help? Amazing we survived! But, we did. Lots of love. See you later in the month!
Thank you for sharing your story.
Thank you, Lisa
I am sorry for your suffering. What they have done to you is not by any way acceptable. As I was reading I thought: "of course they knew and of course no one did anything". Those were years of silence. I also was thinking about how things seems to be similar. You thinking you deserved it and not understanding the gravity and seriousness of what was done to you, even trying to justify it, your father not caring enough to do anything. So similar in its difference.
I don't know if you can really use openly the appropriate words to describe their actions.
Nothing will ever give us back those years, make us feel wanted, supported, loved. Of course we're loved now, but we had to go out in the wild and search and find it, because it wasn't there to begin with. Yes in the wild, because when you have to run away from home at a early age, you are saving yourself, but at the same time you're not ready for it, as at the same time you have no choice.
We have become the best version of ourselves because we chose to be that version, we had it in us all the time, but we've been challenged into having the obvious choice being to destry ourselves. And let's be honest, we could have chosen to abuse the entire world into being responsible for what happened to us and become horrible replica of our parents, but we didn't, we chose to be loving, supporting, heart centered. If we did it, they could have done it too, regardless of whatever fd up reason they had to be such pieces of sh*t. The truth is: they chose to abuse us, we didn't. Kindness and love and support were available to them.
This is why we can hold space for them, reminding ourselves they are beings of love incarnated, but as incarnated humans they are just garbages excuses of whatever.
You go back to Chicago (likely) as a Queen. You've been working very hard on overcoming the abuse, you've come such long way. You can be proud of yourself. You do not go back to the place of your abuse, as it no longer exist. You go to the discovery of a new place, you go to claim your Queendom. Not that the abuse is gone and not aching anymore, but it doesn't define and control every breaths you take anymore.
You've made such difference in many way. You being you is a "miracle" in itself. So many reasons for you not to be the way you are, and still you are exactly the perfect being you are. (you would be perfect in any way you would be, but you see what I mean).
Thank you, Max. I love you so much and all of this. I am so sorry for all that you have suffered as well. The "Queen/Queendom" comments made me smile big. :)
Sending you much love, Nora, as you sift through these painful memories.
Thank you so much, Amy Beth
This story breaks my heart. You are worthy of unconditional love. I’m sorry that your parents were too damaged to give you that. I love child Nora and adult Nora and I am sending that love in all directions of time!❤️🙏🏼❤️
Thank you so much, Theresa. I love you.
I feel you Nora. My grandparents inflicted a similiar reality on my mom and myself.
I always hear your words. I am what I am despite the abuse , not because it helped me be wise etc...,
I appreciate you very much.
Thank you so much, Vila. I am so sorry for what you suffered. Sending you love.
I am sorry for your pain, Nora. I am sorry that the people who you are supposed to be your greatest source of love and support were not. What strength and courage you showed at that early age to seek out justice and help for yourself . . . And how sad & painful that help seemed so out of reach. I love that you - against all odds, kept coming back to yourself.
Let me say this: I see you -- what you share about your younger self . . . I see and believe you and as much as I am able, I hold space for that/those versions of you and send love & compassion.
I love what Max said about going back to Chicago as a Queen. I did not know you before CA, but I dare say you are . . . Well what feels most true to say is you are a more whole version of the unconditional love that is Nora. And, also, you - every version of you is perfect and perfectly lovable. I’ve used many words here and they seem inadequate - so I will end soon. Know that I am sending more and I appreciate you sharing your story.
Thank you so much, Shannon. I receive your love and support. I love you right back.
I am sorry for what you experienced Nora. I hope
You receive deep healing in this lifetime and freedom and peace from all violence. May you heal. Fully and completely.
May you use your words to help you reach unreachable places within. May you be restored in your inherent beauty and preciousness.
Thank you so much, Mary. Taking in the power of your words and sending you love.
I would also like to comment something I am discovering as I too embark upon childhood trauma healing. Now. The root.
I was born in 1959. Oldest of 8. So much abuse and now here it is and I am healing these childhood wounds because we have evolved as humans.
Not in any way as far as we need to mind you, but I too carried such guilt and shame from the adults abuse of me. I am finally releasing all fault. I was an innocent child.
And a trusting young woman. Now in a bad ass elder who has been doing the hard work of healing
change for many years.
But something is shifting for us all. Portals of healing love are opening.
We are finally awakening to what is right and what is wrong. How to help each other and what harms. People talk about abuse and when the responsibility goes to who causes the harm and they are somehow
Held responsible, the ripple effect happens. It takes a lot of work and a lot of devotion to healing. Keep going Nora! I have your back.
Xo
Thank you so much. You too, keep going. I've got your back as well.
So good - "We are finally awakening to what is right and what is wrong. How to help each other and what harms. People talk about abuse and when the responsibility goes to who causes the harm and they are somehow
Held responsible, the ripple effect happens."
You're brave.
Thank you so much.
Nora. Little Nora. Big Nora. I love you. I know you know who you are... love and light incarnate. And thank you for sharing your journey. You are the guiding light for so many and because "they" we so so bad that you couldn't repeat the behavior, it was so obviously wrong, you have forged a new and loving model, thank you. Not everyone does this. I acknowledge that you have. Love love love to you.
Thank you, Susan. I love you too.
Thank you Nora for sharing your story with us. I really think your sharing and being so open and authentic helps us all. I am so sorry you had this childhood and that no one stepped in. It is sad how in the past the resources and protections weren’t there and many times still aren’t. But often times I have conversations with my husband about the fact that Just anyone seems to be able to have children even when they are horrendous people and never should be raising a child. I also spend time thinking about how we incarnate in households that include abuse and wonder why it all happens. And it happens much more than I ever imagined. I often thought that I was one of the few that dealt with things that should not have happened, but I hear so many stories from others and it is awful that people had to experience such trauma and pain. I am sending your childhood self so much love.
Thank you for saying that you no longer believe that you had to endure the abuse to become the person and healer and teacher that you are. I know you have discussed this in the past, but I know not everyone always hears you say it. I’m glad you repeated it here. Hearing you say that the first time was turning point for me and it is such an important message.
Love you! 💜
Thank you so much, Vicki. I love you too.
Nora, thank you for writing about the abuse you suffered, and I'm so sorry you went through the gaslighting and physical abuse and all the rest. I know so many women who were horribly abused for years when they were growing up. I bought a prize parakeet bred by someone from my high school. I found out from her she was being ritualistically abused. This was 1976. I mentioned the situation to my math teacher not using her name, and he flat out said, I don't believe that happens. Another friend had a step father who I know made her keep her br door open, I don't know what else happened to her.
I have a similiar experience of taking myself to therapy after a hundred pick up and hang up the phone mode. I did make my mom take me somehow. The therapist was showing signs of exasperation with my mom. My fault right, I didn't tell anyone at HS until a senior and about to be done, and the social worker told me to call a therapist. I guess I waited too long to get her help? Amazing we survived! But, we did. Lots of love. See you later in the month!
Thank you so much, Karen. I am so sorry for all that you endured.