Okay, let me be the first to comment and say I love hearing about your loving encounters and appreciation. I'm sorry about the misogynistic papa..mine too, and mine also said he hated his Mom, who died when he was 15. She died when my father intercepted the knife she was wielding aimed at her husband, my dad's dad, my grandfather. Well the knife slit her wrist and she was taken to the hospital ( this is 1944) and never came back. They were at a rental cottage in Carmel, CA. My dad and his parents. So they left my father alone in the cottage all night and in the morning my grandfather's press secretary called to tell my father his mother was dead and his father will be coming sometime later that day. Okay, this was my father's version.. but he might have had some heavy duty guilt? And he then hated his mother. And he ofter said to me that I reminded him of his mother!
Why am I telling you this, instead of the cookies I might bake? Well that's what came to mind.
I love hearing about your adventures in Chicago and “loving encounters” as Susan said. It reminds me to get out more often and enjoy the good aspects of community in Ojai.
I’m ok. I chose to respectfully use my best communication skills to address an old friend’s words to me that felt unsupportive and asked for clarification on where she was coming from. I was met with defensiveness. In several interactions with her in the days to follow, I continued to encounter her defensiveness like weaponizing my trauma against me. For example asking me if I was triggered when telling her about a scenario where someone was being highly inappropriate to others. I wasn’t feeling triggered. I was having an appropriate response to the situation and was more mildly disgusted. Or saying to me, “wow, I e always heard about the Kyra talk but never experienced it myself. “ this is a friend who has been a close confidant and who I trusted with my other stories of beginning to stand up for myself in relationships where I tolerated emotional abuse. So I am disappointed that this old friend couldn’t just see that her words didn’t feel good and say sorry or seek to understand why it landed with me that way and move on. That’s all I needed. I’m just in this place in life where I allowed people to mistreat me and experienced emotional abuse growing up so I don’t tolerate being talked to in ways that don’t feel good to me and want to nourish relationships where we can have loving conversations about hard things. It’s just so challenging that so many people struggle to go there and where I’m at in my healing is that I need to stand in my truth and speak up. So I guess I’m feeling grief too. I also think this relationship is not in alignment with my growth. Healing is hard sometimes.
Well, that's a good question. I'm doing what I like to call a rollercoaster ride of emotions with a group of individuals in the Yahyel Civilization. They are a lively group, but the emotions I feel are often overwhelming. Yesterday, I learned how to combine my Reiki training with meditation. I felt so good, I was literally giddy. It's been a very interesting year so far. I'm not sure, but I believe that Jupiter is my influencer planet as my birthday is 12/9. I hope you have a great day. ✌️❤️🕯️
Okay, let me be the first to comment and say I love hearing about your loving encounters and appreciation. I'm sorry about the misogynistic papa..mine too, and mine also said he hated his Mom, who died when he was 15. She died when my father intercepted the knife she was wielding aimed at her husband, my dad's dad, my grandfather. Well the knife slit her wrist and she was taken to the hospital ( this is 1944) and never came back. They were at a rental cottage in Carmel, CA. My dad and his parents. So they left my father alone in the cottage all night and in the morning my grandfather's press secretary called to tell my father his mother was dead and his father will be coming sometime later that day. Okay, this was my father's version.. but he might have had some heavy duty guilt? And he then hated his mother. And he ofter said to me that I reminded him of his mother!
Why am I telling you this, instead of the cookies I might bake? Well that's what came to mind.
Oh Nora I love you and I'll see you on Thursday
Xoxoxo susan
I love you too. I am so sorry for all you've experienced in your family and all of the trauma in that line.
Thanks Nora. It's been transmuted now. But makes for quite the story!
I love hearing about your adventures in Chicago and “loving encounters” as Susan said. It reminds me to get out more often and enjoy the good aspects of community in Ojai.
I’m ok. I chose to respectfully use my best communication skills to address an old friend’s words to me that felt unsupportive and asked for clarification on where she was coming from. I was met with defensiveness. In several interactions with her in the days to follow, I continued to encounter her defensiveness like weaponizing my trauma against me. For example asking me if I was triggered when telling her about a scenario where someone was being highly inappropriate to others. I wasn’t feeling triggered. I was having an appropriate response to the situation and was more mildly disgusted. Or saying to me, “wow, I e always heard about the Kyra talk but never experienced it myself. “ this is a friend who has been a close confidant and who I trusted with my other stories of beginning to stand up for myself in relationships where I tolerated emotional abuse. So I am disappointed that this old friend couldn’t just see that her words didn’t feel good and say sorry or seek to understand why it landed with me that way and move on. That’s all I needed. I’m just in this place in life where I allowed people to mistreat me and experienced emotional abuse growing up so I don’t tolerate being talked to in ways that don’t feel good to me and want to nourish relationships where we can have loving conversations about hard things. It’s just so challenging that so many people struggle to go there and where I’m at in my healing is that I need to stand in my truth and speak up. So I guess I’m feeling grief too. I also think this relationship is not in alignment with my growth. Healing is hard sometimes.
I am so sorry, Kyra. I love you.
Yeah, healing can be hard and lonely at times
Thank you. 🥺🥲 I love you too Nora!
Thank you, Nora. I can relate so much. Big hug to you❤️
You're welcome.
I am so sorry for your experience.
Big hugs right back
Well, that's a good question. I'm doing what I like to call a rollercoaster ride of emotions with a group of individuals in the Yahyel Civilization. They are a lively group, but the emotions I feel are often overwhelming. Yesterday, I learned how to combine my Reiki training with meditation. I felt so good, I was literally giddy. It's been a very interesting year so far. I'm not sure, but I believe that Jupiter is my influencer planet as my birthday is 12/9. I hope you have a great day. ✌️❤️🕯️
Thank you for sharing, Jose'.
That outcome sounds wonderful.
Sending you love