I haven’t seen you and Jon in person in ages, but there’s always something so comforting about knowing I could run into you at any moment. You two were instrumental in my healing process after Ben’s stillbirth. When I was terrified and thought I was losing my mind, your channeling brought me so much peace.
You’ve also been such a breath of fresh air and solidarity partner with your zero tolerance on spiritual bypassing, racism and other asshattery over the last years. I’ve been so grateful for the way you straddled the worlds of channeling/reiki and anti-racism/anti-fascism. It helped me feel less alone.
I’m so sad you’re leaving the area (and for housing reasons - that makes it even worse) but I’m excited to witness your adventures here. I have no doubt you two will continue to make magic wherever you go. ❤️
I can really feel the bittersweet-ness of this stage of your move, and trust that something wonderfully perfect for the next phase lies ahead for you. 💝
I’ve had some very unpleasant, long and vivid dreams over the weekend, and a day or two of profound fatigue and depression. Purging stuff so old and deep I don’t even know what it is (not necessary I’m sure). Seems fitting for me that I slept through the eclipse, deeply, and did not wake through the night. In some automatic writing to myself I wrote that I needed to die and be reborn one more time, so letting that happen without resistance. Looking forward to the new that comes after this eclipse.
We've never met in person, but I have always loved knowing you were just down the coast, so to speak. I'm inexplicably saddened at the idea of you being halfway (or more, really) across the country. I'm sorry your and Jon are having to have behind your home and community of 15 years, but I'm absolutely sure that whatever is in store for you will be magical. Sending you both much love and intentions for grace, ease, and flow. ✨🙏🏻💗
Thank you, Amy Beth. Yes, leaving the West Coast is shocking to me as well. I was not consciously planning it even though I have been dreaming about New Mexico and Maine for a few years now. Thank you so much for your sweet wishes.
Oh wow Nora! It’s been so beautiful getting to follow along on your journey with this move over the last few months.
When I moved to the west coast years ago, I remember you telling me that the west coast has a lot of lemurian energy and it often facilitates people opening that much more to their energetic gifts. When I left the west coast to move back to where I grew up two years ago, it was wild how much I brought my new self with me to then confront / reconfront so much childhood pain, trauma, etc that was buried under the surface. I did NOT want to do this movement, the first year was hell, and I don’t think I would have if it hadn’t truly been the only thing opening at the time. But now, having shed soooo many layers, I’m so glad I did.
With you going back to Chicago, especially as your writing has opened up and you’ve begun sharing about the past traumas you experienced, maybe a part of you is ready to face those pieces again from who you are now. Facilitate the next layer of healing in a safe way with all that you embody now. Those are some of my internal musings on your story at least.
In my world, two really close relationships had massive ruptures last week. They were both totally out of the blue and really hard to process. At the same time, I’m really proud of myself. I brought my anger and didn’t just roll over. For the most part, I prefer to show up emotionally regulated and centered, but I also need the safety to show up messy, reactive, and not be “emotionally perfect”. It’s not how I want to be most of the time, but it does need to have a place and be safe and held.
It’s also really causing me to ask questions about where is there support for me? Where am I the only one caring for/sustaining the third thing that is the relationship between us? Who has energy coming toward me, not just me going towards them? Definitely leaning into this idea of mutuality and all the ways I felt safer over the years with people not coming towards me. That felt easier to be with, better able to control, etc. Now though, I’m changing. I have more capacity for people to come towards me and actually need that. I have much less interest in me being the one energetically going towards them all the time.
But damn is it shaking things up in my relationships, specifically those with men (father, friends, person I’m dating). I don’t trust men to come towards me if I stop going towards them and in some ways I guess I’m being shown in real time that reality. Those who are still coming towards me and those who aren’t.
The magnolia tree is absolutely gorgeous! It sounds like everything is working out well for you as you prepare to move which is great. But on the other hand, I know it’s really hard to leave and to say goodbye to everyone and everything. Ojai will definitely lose a bright light when you all leave. 15 years is a long time. I’ve never lived in one house/apartment for 15 years. I’m so glad that Zoey is doing better and feeling like her old self again, moving can be so hard on our furry babies.
I watched the eclipse from my backyard. It was not total here, but it was close. Definitely amazing. And I’m also ready for a reset so hopefully this ushers in some new. We are also getting warmer weather than I expected, which is really nice. My memory on Facebook from eight years ago was snow. And it made it to 71 yesterday so it made it comfortable to sit outside and watch the eclipse. It’s not whether I’m used to having right now living here. I had a butterfly show up on my back door camera which was amazing and made me happy.
Sending you all love and an easy stress free move. 💜
Thank you so much. Same with me, as an adult I have never lived in a place this long before, the last was my childhood home which I moved from when I was 18. So, it's a big, big move, just for this, not to mention leaving our community and California as well.
well, for sure, the reality of checking out coastal Maine is legit. I can't speak for the rest. <3
Have you listened to the latest Red Abbess? I ask only because it might offer some comfort. The title hides that a bit. https://theredabbess.substack.com/p/4624
I haven’t seen you and Jon in person in ages, but there’s always something so comforting about knowing I could run into you at any moment. You two were instrumental in my healing process after Ben’s stillbirth. When I was terrified and thought I was losing my mind, your channeling brought me so much peace.
You’ve also been such a breath of fresh air and solidarity partner with your zero tolerance on spiritual bypassing, racism and other asshattery over the last years. I’ve been so grateful for the way you straddled the worlds of channeling/reiki and anti-racism/anti-fascism. It helped me feel less alone.
I’m so sad you’re leaving the area (and for housing reasons - that makes it even worse) but I’m excited to witness your adventures here. I have no doubt you two will continue to make magic wherever you go. ❤️
Thank you so much, Alana. Sending you much love in return.
They don't even have to be in the same geographical place to feel their magic and love. So sweet are your words of gratitude.
Thank you so much :)
I can really feel the bittersweet-ness of this stage of your move, and trust that something wonderfully perfect for the next phase lies ahead for you. 💝
I’ve had some very unpleasant, long and vivid dreams over the weekend, and a day or two of profound fatigue and depression. Purging stuff so old and deep I don’t even know what it is (not necessary I’m sure). Seems fitting for me that I slept through the eclipse, deeply, and did not wake through the night. In some automatic writing to myself I wrote that I needed to die and be reborn one more time, so letting that happen without resistance. Looking forward to the new that comes after this eclipse.
Sending you love as you surrender and transform. I also slept very deeply last night.
We've never met in person, but I have always loved knowing you were just down the coast, so to speak. I'm inexplicably saddened at the idea of you being halfway (or more, really) across the country. I'm sorry your and Jon are having to have behind your home and community of 15 years, but I'm absolutely sure that whatever is in store for you will be magical. Sending you both much love and intentions for grace, ease, and flow. ✨🙏🏻💗
Thank you, Amy Beth. Yes, leaving the West Coast is shocking to me as well. I was not consciously planning it even though I have been dreaming about New Mexico and Maine for a few years now. Thank you so much for your sweet wishes.
Oh wow Nora! It’s been so beautiful getting to follow along on your journey with this move over the last few months.
When I moved to the west coast years ago, I remember you telling me that the west coast has a lot of lemurian energy and it often facilitates people opening that much more to their energetic gifts. When I left the west coast to move back to where I grew up two years ago, it was wild how much I brought my new self with me to then confront / reconfront so much childhood pain, trauma, etc that was buried under the surface. I did NOT want to do this movement, the first year was hell, and I don’t think I would have if it hadn’t truly been the only thing opening at the time. But now, having shed soooo many layers, I’m so glad I did.
With you going back to Chicago, especially as your writing has opened up and you’ve begun sharing about the past traumas you experienced, maybe a part of you is ready to face those pieces again from who you are now. Facilitate the next layer of healing in a safe way with all that you embody now. Those are some of my internal musings on your story at least.
In my world, two really close relationships had massive ruptures last week. They were both totally out of the blue and really hard to process. At the same time, I’m really proud of myself. I brought my anger and didn’t just roll over. For the most part, I prefer to show up emotionally regulated and centered, but I also need the safety to show up messy, reactive, and not be “emotionally perfect”. It’s not how I want to be most of the time, but it does need to have a place and be safe and held.
It’s also really causing me to ask questions about where is there support for me? Where am I the only one caring for/sustaining the third thing that is the relationship between us? Who has energy coming toward me, not just me going towards them? Definitely leaning into this idea of mutuality and all the ways I felt safer over the years with people not coming towards me. That felt easier to be with, better able to control, etc. Now though, I’m changing. I have more capacity for people to come towards me and actually need that. I have much less interest in me being the one energetically going towards them all the time.
But damn is it shaking things up in my relationships, specifically those with men (father, friends, person I’m dating). I don’t trust men to come towards me if I stop going towards them and in some ways I guess I’m being shown in real time that reality. Those who are still coming towards me and those who aren’t.
Beautiful and deep reflections and healing, Helen.
And yes, I have that awareness about my journey.
Sending you love as you continue to love yourself more.
The magnolia tree is absolutely gorgeous! It sounds like everything is working out well for you as you prepare to move which is great. But on the other hand, I know it’s really hard to leave and to say goodbye to everyone and everything. Ojai will definitely lose a bright light when you all leave. 15 years is a long time. I’ve never lived in one house/apartment for 15 years. I’m so glad that Zoey is doing better and feeling like her old self again, moving can be so hard on our furry babies.
I watched the eclipse from my backyard. It was not total here, but it was close. Definitely amazing. And I’m also ready for a reset so hopefully this ushers in some new. We are also getting warmer weather than I expected, which is really nice. My memory on Facebook from eight years ago was snow. And it made it to 71 yesterday so it made it comfortable to sit outside and watch the eclipse. It’s not whether I’m used to having right now living here. I had a butterfly show up on my back door camera which was amazing and made me happy.
Sending you all love and an easy stress free move. 💜
Thank you so much. Same with me, as an adult I have never lived in a place this long before, the last was my childhood home which I moved from when I was 18. So, it's a big, big move, just for this, not to mention leaving our community and California as well.
And yet, we are excited at what may lie ahead.
So glad you were eclipsed in warmth and light.
Sending you love right back.
Oh Nora, whenever I read these, I hear your voice reading it, and I know that will make me feel like you’re still here.
You should visit Maine, my family is in Portland and I’m happy to have them keep an ear out for a rental!
Thank you so much, Em. I think we will visit Maine at some point. It'll be easier to get there from Chicago than it will be from here .
well, for sure, the reality of checking out coastal Maine is legit. I can't speak for the rest. <3
Have you listened to the latest Red Abbess? I ask only because it might offer some comfort. The title hides that a bit. https://theredabbess.substack.com/p/4624
Thank you so much, Faith. Yes, I started to listen to this and then got pulled away. Thank you for the reminder. Listening now :)
Love the battle of the noises.
Ah yes, I know this spell. Thank you for the reminder.
so beautiful, Faith. Thank you.